The child was offended. What to do? Often parents feel helpless, try to appease or intimidate him, just to stop being offended. But are they doing the right thing? What is child abuse and how to deal with it?
Kristina agwabeghị nne ya okwu ruo afọ asaa. Ọ na-anọdụ n'enweghị ihe ọ bụla, na-atụgharị ihu, na-ele otu ebe. Iwe were ya. Nwatakịrị nwanyị enweghị ike iyiri uwe kachasị amasị ya, ọ bụ na ịsa ahụ.
Five-year-old Artem asks to stay on the playground. He sits down, hides his face, puffs out his cheeks and cries: «I’m not going anywhere.» So Artem is offended. He was offended that it was time to leave the site on which he likes.
Every parent faces childhood abuse. How to react? Let the child put on a dirty dress or insist on his own? Stay on the set and miss a doctor’s appointment? Before answering these questions, let’s look at what resentment is and why it occurs in a child.
Gịnị mere nwa ahụ ji ewe iwe?
Resentment is an expression of anger, indignation at unfair treatment from the point of view of the child. It arises in the address of parents, friends, people with whom valuable relationships are formed. Strangers are not offended. Thus, there is love in resentment. So the child says: “You are doing me wrong. I feel bad. Change your behavior.»
E nwere mgbe onye toro eto na-eme ihe na-ezighị ezi. Dị ka ihe atụ, otu nwatakịrị nọ n'ụgbọala ji ụgbọala banye n'ụzọ. Nne na nna ahụ tụrụ egwu, baara nwa ahụ mba ma kparị ya n'oge okpomọkụ. N'ọnọdụ ebe obi na-ama gị ikpe, rịọ mgbaghara. Ma ọtụtụ mgbe, ụmụaka na-ewekarị iwe ma ọ bụrụ na ọ bụghị ndị mụrụ ha ka a ga-ata ụta. Ya mere, e nwere ọnọdụ: uwe ahụ dị na ịsacha, oge njem agwụla.
Mgbe a kpasuru nwatakịrị iwe, ụfọdụ ndị toro eto na-achọ ime ka obi dajụọ ya, kwenye, nye ya ihe iji kasie ya obi. "Anyị enweghị ike ịnọ n'ogige egwuregwu. Ma mgbe dọkịta gachara, m ga-azụtara gị ihe egwuregwu ụmụaka,” ka nne ahụ gwara nwa ya nwoke. Ndị nne na nna ndị ọzọ na-ewe iwe, baara nwa ahụ mba, gwa ya ka ọ kwụsị ịkwa ákwá. Ọ, ụjọ tụrụ ya, mụta izochi mmetụta ya.
Otu esi azaghachi mkparị
It is unpleasant to experience resentment both for the child and for the parent who is nearby. All feelings are necessary: they help us to understand desires and satisfy them. Therefore, it is important to teach the child to understand their feelings and express them constructively.
1. Elegharala mmetụta nwa gị anya
Explain to him what is happening to him. This is necessary so that the child learns to recognize his feelings. «You’re offended because I can’t give you your favorite dress.» Or “You were offended by me because you have to leave the site.” This will not change the behavior of the child. He will still be offended. But he will see that he is understood and accepted in this state.
Ọ ga-amụta ịmata mmetụta ya ma ghọta ihe kpatara ya. Ọ bụrụ na i mejọrọ ihe kpatara iwe, mgbe ahụ nwatakịrị ahụ ga-agbazi gị.
Otu ụbọchị mụ na ụmụ m nọ na-egwu egwuregwu bọọdụ. Grisha furu efu wee bee akwa.
M kwuru, sị: “I were iwe n'ihi na ị furu efu.
— Not. When I lost, Pasha laughed at me.
— You were upset because Pasha laughed after you lost.
You kind of tell the child, “This is what happened to you. I understand you».
2. Kọwaara nwa gị ihe mere i ji eme nke a.
“Ọ na-ewe gị iwe n'ihi na enweghị m ike inye gị uwe kacha amasị gị. Ọ ga-amasị m ịnye gị ya, mana ọ dị na ịsa ahụ, agaghị m enwe oge ịsa ya. Anyị kwesịrị ịga ugbu a.
— You are offended because I ask you to leave the site. But we have an appointment with a doctor.
3. Nye ihe ngwọta maka nsogbu ahụ maka ọdịnihu ma ọ bụ chepụta otu gị na nwa gị
Anyị ga-abịa n'ogige egwuregwu echi, ị ga-egwu.
Anyị ga-asa uwe gị ma ị nwere ike iyi ya mgbe ọ kpọrọ nkụ.
4. Nye nwa gị oge ịnakwere ọnọdụ ahụ, nweta iru uju, hapụ iwe
Jiri nwayọọ na-enwe ọmịiko, soro ya nọrọ na mmetụta ya. Gị na nwa gị kwụsị imerụ ahụ ahụ.
5. Kụziere nwa gị ka ọ na-ekwu banyere ahụmahụ ha
This will help a personal example — talk about your feelings. For example: «I’m happy for you» (when the child got a high mark in school). Or: «I get angry when you call names on your brother.»
Iwe bụ mmetụta dị mgbagwoju anya. Ma ọ ga-ekwe omume ịnagide ya. Na n'otu oge ahụ ịkụziri nwatakịrị ka ọ ghọta, kpọọ ahụmahụ ha ma chọọ ihe ngwọta na ọnọdụ siri ike.