ọdịnaya
Vanessa, 35, mother of Gabriel, 6, and Anna, 2 and a half. Recruitment and training officer
“I had made several fixed-term contracts as a communications officer and I had to be established after my return from maternity leave. But I received a letter a few days before telling me that this would not be the case. So I had to go back to work for two weeks, the time to settle my last contract.
What a bad night I spent the day before! And in the morning, I had a lump in my stomach. It was the most uncomfortable two weeks of my entire professional life! My colleagues were nice, happy to see me. But I did not manage to take my files back in hand, it did not rhyme with anything. I wandered between the offices to tell my story. These days have lasted forever. Fortunately, Gabriel was looked after by my mother, so the separation was not very difficult.
However, before hearing this bad news, all was well. I loved this job. I had sent everyone a birth announcement, kept good contacts, received a congratulatory text from my superiors. In short, it was the cold shower. I reread the letter ten times. It is true that another employee had already paid for this kind of treatment, but I did not expect it at all. I had only stuck my paid leave with my maternity leave, I had no intention of asking for parental leave or part-time, but I imagine that was the kind of fear they had.
I was on fire, I gave everything!
I was very angry, disappointed, in shock, but I did not cause a scandal. I didn’t want to leave a bad image of me, I preferred to say goodbye to people quietly. I had invested so much in this position, I was sure that I was going to be established. Even during my pregnancy, I was on fire, I gave everything, including early in the morning or on weekends. I had gained little weight and had given birth a month and a half ahead of schedule.
If it happened to me today, it would be different! But the legal process, if I had started one, promised to be very slow. And I was exhausted. Gabriel was sleeping badly.
I mainly focused on my job search. And after three interviews where I was made to understand (barely between the lines!) That having a 6 month old baby disqualified me, I started a retraining … in human resources. After a rather hectic stint in a recruitment firm (stress, pressure, long hours, a lot of transport), I work in the HR department of a community. “
Nathalie, 40 years old, mother of Gabriel, 5 years old, Concept and Merchandising manager in a large company
“I remember the date very well, it was Monday April 7, Gabriel was 3 months old. On the weekends, I took some time for myself, I had a massage. I really needed it. My delivery (a month and a half earlier than expected) did not go very well. The maternity team – in their actions and words – left me with an impression of vulnerability that I had never felt before.
For him it was a betrayal
Then, I had a lot of trouble finding a custody solution for Gabi. It was only a week before the resumption that I found a nanny in my building. A real relief! From this point of view, my return to work was not too complicated. I didn’t run in the morning to drop it off and I was confident.
But since I announced my pregnancy, relations with my supervisor had strained. His reaction “You can’t do this to me! had disappointed me. For him, it was a betrayal. Despite my stoppage of work at six months of pregnancy due to gestational diabetes, I worked from home until the day before giving birth, probably a little out of guilt. And I understood far too late that the company would never give me the change of my coin … In addition, I had gained a lot of weight during the pregnancy (22 kg) and this new physique (and the relaxed clothes that were going with to hide) did not fit too much with the atmosphere of my box … In short, I was not very serene at the idea of this recovery. When I got to work, nothing had changed. No one had touched my desk. Everything had remained in its place as if I had left the day before. It was nice, but in a way, it put a lot of pressure. For me, that meant “You have your work cut out for you, no one has taken over since you left”. My colleagues, who were delighted to see me come back, welcomed me with great kindness and a very nice breakfast. I resumed my files, processed my emails. I was received by the HRD to make a point.
I had to redo my proofs
Gradually, I understood that I could not claim another position or evolve as I wanted, I had to “redo my proofs”, “show that I was still capable”. In the eyes of my hierarchy, I was labeled a “mother of a family” and I had a vocation to ease off. This disturbed me a lot, because of course, once a mother, I no longer had the desire to work overtime in the evening, but it was up to me to decide whether to slow down or not, not to others. impose it as a fait accompli. In the end, I resigned after two years. In my new business, I immediately positioned myself and assumed responsibility as a mother and also as a committed professional, because one does not prevent the other. “.
Adeline, 37, mother of Lila, 11, and Mahé, 8. Child care assistant
“I had taken six months of parental leave. I was a general-purpose auxiliary, that is to say that I shot on several municipal nurseries, according to the needs. But I was still attached to one of them mainly. Before my resumption, I sent an announcement to my home nursery, presented Lila to my colleagues who congratulated me and offered small gifts. The only stressful point is that it took a long time to inform me about my new home nursery. And I didn’t know when I could put down my two RTTs per month. I phoned for info, but it was never really clear.
I was happy to see people
There was also the concern of the type of childcare. I was sure that I would have a place in a family nursery, but a month before my resumption, I was told that no. We had to find a nanny urgently. The adaptation started a week before my official cover. But on Thursday, disaster, I had to go to the hospital. I was having an ectopic pregnancy! The days that followed were a bit depressing. Lila at the nanny and I alone at home …
I got back to work three weeks later than expected, right at Lila’s 9 months. The good thing about this is that she didn’t cry at all in the morning, and neither did I. We were used to it. Finally, I did not change the parent nursery. I took over 80%, I did not work on Fridays, nor every other Tuesday. Lila was doing short days: her daddy came to pick her up around 16 p.m.
The first day, I had to take care of another little Lila, funny coincidence! I remember that the hardest part was in the morning, getting ready, having lunch, waking up Lila, putting her down, arriving on time… As for the rest, I’m lucky! In a nursery, curves and cool clothes don’t shock anyone! And I was happy to find my colleagues, to see people. What is certain is that by becoming a mother, I became more tolerant with parents! I understand better why we can not always apply the principles of education in which we believe … “