10 tricks narcissists use

Each of us at least once encountered this type in our environment. How to recognize a narcissist and not become a victim of his manipulations? Remember the basic rules of conduct.

1.

«Own» version of someone else’s success

A classic narcissist trick is to «complete» and «correct» the story of other people’s achievements. He can hide behind good intentions, assure that he simply appreciates fair play. But in fact, this alignment is beneficial for him: in this way he simultaneously humiliates the opponent and shows himself to be a fighter for the truth.

— Ivan Ivanovich defended his doctoral thesis at the age of 30!

— Well, of course, because a whole staff of students and laboratory assistants worked for him.

I saw your classmate on TV. She hosts the program during prime time.

— She clapped her eyes in front of the producer — they took her. Was it worth graduating from medical school for?

2.

Error file

Narcissists skillfully collect information about colleagues, rivals, leaders, to use at the right time. They can use their charm, pretend to be friends in order to challenge you to frankness. Once they know what they can use against you, they will not fail to use the information to blackmail you. The narcissist will from time to time — usually in a non-violent, as if joking way — remind you of your «little secret» in order to have power over you.

3.

Imaginary perfectionism

Perfect people do not exist. True, there is always an exception for the narcissist: himself. In finding other people’s mistakes, narcissists have no equal. Even more skillfully they manage to obscure personal interest in this. If the narcissist is accused of being too picky, he will smile broadly and say, “Oh, this is a joke. You can’t even joke anymore. What’s with your sense of humor, buddy?»

4.

Finding the culprit

If something goes wrong, the narcissist always finds someone who will prove to be «extreme». A good knowledge of psychology helps him choose for this role someone who will not object and defend himself. It is not uncommon for the narcissist to choose in advance as a partner a person who can be blamed in case of failure or exposure of his machinations.

5.

Baby talk

In any relationship, the narcissist seeks to dominate. One way is to convince the partner of his immaturity and childish behavior. The narcissist interprets any situation in the context of an Adult-Child relationship. In conversation, he often resorts to demonstrative lisping, feigned care and pity. “Well, why are you angry, like a little one? Oh, did I offend you? Well, well, don’t cry. Do you want me to buy you candy?”

6.

Link to religion

The narcissist is well aware that beliefs and beliefs are powerful levers of pressure on other people. Conscience does not allow us to calmly endure the contradiction between our values ​​and actions that deviate from them. Even if the deviation is very small, the narcissist will try to inflate it, to raise it to the absolute. For example, he often uses phrases: “How can you be trusted if you are constantly hypocritical?”; “Here you are condemning me, but this is not Christian”; “How is that no big deal? This is how morality in our society collapses.”

7.

«Jupiter is angry, so he is wrong»

A favorite tactic of the narcissist is to piss off the interlocutor, and then reproach him for being too hot. First, the harsh emotional reaction contrasts favorably with the cold courtesy of the narcissist himself. Secondly, the narcissist gets the opportunity to interpret this reaction in their favor: “Aha! You get angry. So there is no smoke without fire.

8.

Imaginary condescension

Unlike baby talk, here the interlocutor tries in every possible way to show that he is above you, understands the situation better, and can explain your reactions and your motivation. He uses “smart” words (often foreign, Latin expressions), eloquent gestures (rolls his eyes, grins), exchanges significant glances with those around him. Playing for the public makes the situation even more beneficial for the narcissist: his charm does not allow others to recognize the demagogue.

9.

Comparison with the ideal

No matter what you did and How long effort you put in, he did it twice as fast and better than you. The narcissist uses his own superiority to discount your results. At the same time, it often ignores details that can be crucial.

10.

Impression manipulation

His suits always fit perfectly. Not a single hair is knocked out of the hair. The narcissist doesn’t look like this just because he likes to be brand new. It is also a way to devalue others. These comments are probably familiar to you: «Just look after yourself — is it so difficult»; «How can you take seriously someone who looks like a bum.»

Maka ama ndi ozo, na blọgụ The Exhausted Woman.