You are sure that you are right, but the partner claims that it seemed to you. You know what exactly you heard and saw, but you begin to doubt, because your husband said that everything was different. In the end, you come to the conclusion: «I obviously have something wrong with my head.» The story of the heroine is about how to recognize gaslighting and stop depreciation.
Otu nwanyị dị afọ XNUMX bịara ọgwụgwọ na nso nso a. Mgbe afọ iri abụọ nke alụmdi na nwunye gasịrị, ọ nwere mmetụta nke enweghị isi, ọ dịghị mkpa ma chọọ ịnwụ ozugbo enwere ike. Na ilele mbụ, ọ nweghị ihe doro anya kpatara ahụmahụ igbu onwe ya na mmetụta mgbe nile nke oké mgbu uche. Ụmụntakịrị mara mma, ụlọ ahụ bụ nnukwu efere juru, di na-ahụ n'anya ma na-ahụ n'anya. Site n’ọmụmụ ihe ruo ná nzukọ, anyị na-achọ ihe ndị na-akpata ịda mbà n’obi ya.
Ozugbo onye ahịa chetara ihe mere ọtụtụ afọ gara aga. Ezinụlọ ahụ ji ụgbọ ala na-eme njem na Rọshịa, n'ehihie, onye ọkwọ ụgbọ ala "Lada ochie chụpụrụ" ha, wee gafee, tụgharịa, chị ọchị, na-egosi omume rụrụ arụ. Ha chịrị onye ọkwọ ụgbọ ala ala ahụ ọchị nke ukwuu. N'ịlaghachi n'ụlọ, ha kpọrọ ndị enyi ha, onye ahịa ahụ, dị ka onye nlekọta nke ụlọ ahụ, malitere ịgwa ndị ọbịa banyere onye na-achụ ya, na-egosipụta ọdịdị ihu nke nwoke ahụ na ihu ya na agba ya.
The husband suddenly said that his wife was confusing everything. The driver overtook them only once and did not grin maliciously. My client insisted that everything happened exactly as she described. The husband asked his son, was it the way the mother describes, or the way he says? The son said that the father was right. So the woman was put up «crazy» in front of the guests.
N'echi ya, mgbe ọ na-eri nri ụtụtụ, ọ gbalịkwara imezigharị ihe omume ahụ ọzọ, ma di ya na ụmụ ya kwuru na ọ na-agụ ya agụụ. Nke nta nke nta, na usoro nke psychotherapy, ebe nchekwa chụpụrụ ọhụrụ ngosipụta nke mbelata si subconscious. Di ya leghaara ya anya, mesie ya ike na erughị eru ya n'ihu ụmụ ya, ndị ikwu na ndị enyi ya. Onye ahịa ahụ chetara otú o si akwa ákwá nke ukwuu mgbe nzukọ nne na nna na onye nkụzi gasịrị, bụ́ ebe onye nkụzi ahụ gụpụtara ihe pụrụ iche nke nwa ya nwanyị nke ọdụdụ dere, bụ́ ebe e depụtara emezighị emezi nke nne n’isi ihe, ebe ụmụaka ndị ọzọ na-ede nanị ihe ndị na-enye obi ụtọ na ezi ihe banyere nne ha. .
Isi ihe mgbaru ọsọ nke gaslighting bụ ịkụnye obi abụọ n'ime onye ọzọ banyere oke nke onwe ha, uru onwe ha.
N'otu oge, n'oge nri abalị, ọ hụrụ na ụmụaka na nna ya na-achị ya ọchị: di ya na-eṅomi otú o si eri nri ... Nzukọ ahụ sochiri nzukọ ahụ, e gosipụtara anyị foto na-adịghị mma nke mmechuihu na ọnụ ahịa nke nwanyị site n'aka nwanyị. di ya. Ọ bụrụ na o nwetara ihe ịga nke ọma n'ọrụ, a na-ebelata ọnụ ahịa ha ozugbo ma ọ bụ leghara ha anya. Ma n'otu oge ahụ, di na-echeta mgbe nile ụbọchị agbamakwụkwọ, ụbọchị ọmụmụ na ụbọchị ndị ọzọ na-echefu echefu, nyere ya onyinye dị oké ọnụ ahịa, nwere mmetụta ịhụnanya na nwayọọ, mmasị na mmekọahụ.
Onye ahịa m nwetara ike ịgwa ụmụaka ahụ eziokwu ma chọpụta na di ya n'azụ ya mere ka ha bụrụ ndị so na egwuregwu ya. Achọpụtara ihe kpatara ọnọdụ ịda mbà n'obi nke onye ahịa bụ mmegide mmetụta uche na-ezochi ezo, nke ndị ọkà n'akparamàgwà mmadụ na-akpọ gaslighting.
Gaslighting bụ kpọmkwem ụdị mmekpa ahụ nke uche nke onye mmegbu na-emegbu onye ahụ. Isi ihe mgbaru ọsọ nke gaslighting bụ ịkụnye obi abụọ n'ime onye ọzọ banyere oke nke onwe ha, uru onwe ha. Ọtụtụ mgbe, egwuregwu obi ọjọọ a bụ ndị nwoke na-egwu n'ihe gbasara nwanyị.
Ajụrụ m onye ahịa ahụ ma ọ bụghị na ọ hụtaghị àgwà nke ime ihe n'ụzọ mmetụta uche tupu alụmdi na nwunye. Ee, ọ chọpụtara na-alụ nwanyị ọhụrụ okwu mkparị na disrogatory okwu kwupụta nne nne ya na nne, ma o ji akọ jisiri ike kpalie ya na ndị ọ hụrụ n'anya kwesịrị ya, mgbe ọ bụ mmụọ ozi n'anụ ahụ ... Ugbua na ndụ ezinụlọ, nwanyị ahụ gbalịrị ghara ime. ṅaa ntị na barbs, witicisms na omume ndị na-eme ka obi abụọ ọ bụghị nanị na ọ dị mkpa na uru onwe ya, kamakwa na ike ya.
N'ikpeazụ, ya onwe ya malitere ikwere na ọ dịghị ihe ọ bụla na-anọchi anya ọha mmadụ na, n'ozuzu, ọ bụ ntakịrị "na-ara ara". Ma ị pụghị ịghọgbu mkpụrụ obi gị na anụ ahụ gị: nnukwu isi ọwụwa na mgbu nke uche wetara m ya.
Onye gaslighter, dị ka Bluebeard, nwere ụlọ nzuzo ebe ọ na-echekwa ọ bụghị ozu nke ndị nwunye gara aga, kama mkpụrụ obi mebiri emebi nke ụmụ nwanyị.
N'ihe gbasara nke a merenụ, m na-echeta otú Dunya Raskolnikova, nwanne nwanyị nke protagonist nke akwụkwọ akụkọ Dostoevsky Crime and Punishment, gwara nwanne ya nwoke banyere onye chọrọ ịlụ Luzhin. Rodion Raskolnikov ji iwe baara ya mba na, n'ịkọwa nwoke na-alụ nwanyị ọhụrụ, ọ na-ejikarị okwu ahụ bụ "yiri", na o yiri ka ọ "yiri" ịlụ di na nwunye maka nke a.
Even more acutely the problem of hidden sadism of a man is raised in the fairy tale «Bluebeard». As a bride, the girl believes that Bluebeard is cute, but with oddities. She brushes off her suspicions, as does my client, and many of us.
But the gaslighter, like the hero of the fairy tale, has a secret room where he keeps not the corpses of previous wives, but the ruined souls of women — victims of psychological abuse. Sooner or later (but better sooner) a woman should think: why is it so painful for her to be next to a man with an outwardly prosperous picture?
Ọ na-agbapụta mkpịsị ugodi nke ụlọ nzuzo zoro ezo n'ime omimi nke uche anyị, ebe anyị na-eziga ihe ọ bụla nke ga-ekpughe eziokwu na-adịghị mma na e nwere onye sadist dị nso, na-achọ inweta ike zuru oke n'ahụ anyị ma nwee obi ụtọ site na mgbu uche anyị.
Healing — confronting the gaslighter — begins with asking the right question to make the invisible visible. An objective perception of what is happening will allow you to develop the right strategy of behavior and build personal boundaries in communicating with a gaslighter.
Kedu ihe ị ga-eme ma ọ bụrụ na ị chere na onye òtù ọlụlụ gị bụ gaslighter?
- Mụta ịmata ọdịiche dị na ndụmọdụ enyi na nkwado site na nkatọ na ọchịchọ nzuzo iji gosipụta onwe gị na mmefu gị.
- And if you heard the subtle bell of your soul — “it seems that he is so good”, — do not rush to go into a close relationship with this “seems to be”.
- Nye oge iji kpughee ihe nzuzo ahụ.
- Gbanyụọ amara nke ntule nke na-eme ka mmadụ mara mma, n'agbanyeghị otú ọ ga-esi maa mma n'anya gị na mmalite.
- Ọtụtụ mgbe, mkpasu iwe e ji nkà mee nke na-enye anyị ohere ịhụ ihu igwe ọkụ ọkụ na-enyere anyị aka iwepụ echiche efu.
- Don’t ever let anyone call you «darling», this is where a lot of sad stories start.