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“The most complicated thing about raising a child is to manage not to necessarily see it as“ gender ”, explains Bénédicte Fiquet, consultant on non-sexist education. “That is to say, when you look at him, not to see a little girl or a little boy. A child or a child, before being considered as sexual – which can limit it – must be seen as a “child”, that is to say, with the same potentialities whatever their sex. Neurosciences have shown that at birth children have the same potential, whether they are girls or boys. But it is the experiences that they will have during their life that will give them skills. One of the keys to giving your child confidence is to broaden the range of possibilities as much as possible by giving them the possibility of deploying their personality as widely as possible.

The idea? Never restrict a girl to stick to the idea of ​​her gender. So, a girl like a boy, can be loud, rowdy, noisy, he or she can climb trees, dress as he or she wants.

All out!

Studies show that girls don’t go out to the square or to the park as often as boys. However, all children need to run and exercise to be healthy!

Choose your albums and films

Traditional culture shows models through the literature offered to little girls. We must be careful to choose albums where female figures are not confined to the domestic sphere and have a driving role (they are not just princesses who languish while waiting for Prince Charming).

The idea: read books or watch films before showing them to your child to check that they do not convey sexist clichés (dad in his chair, mum does the dishes!). You make your daughter read or show books or films in which the girl has a leading progressive role (Pippi Longstocking, Mulan, Rebel or even the heroines of Miazaki). No ideas? We are inspired by books like “Why not a pilot?” »Or we draw from the 130 non-sexist albums identified by the association Adéquations.

When the author regrets …

The author of the youth album Rébecca d’Allremer explained at the end of November in the pages of Liberation that she found that her youth album, translated around the world, “Lovers”, where a little boy bangs a little girl because that he is in love with her and does not know how to say to her, “contains macho presuppositions that at the time of #Metoo she rereads with fear”. To meditate !

Choose games with results to gain self-confidence

Little girls are often pushed into imitation games (dolls, shopkeepers, housework, etc.). However, if these games are very important for children (girls and boys alike) because they develop language and imagination, they are not games with “results” that confront reality. It’s hard to say “I sold 16 vegetables! ” with pride ! On the other hand, scoring goals in a football cage or climbing a tower with cubes or Kapla allows you to say to your parent: “Look what I did! And to be proud of it. Suggesting that a little girl play these games is also a way to help her strengthen her self-esteem, especially since you can compliment her on her prowess.

Find “role-models”

The history of France especially retains famous men, yet many women have accomplished great things … but we hear less about it! Do not hesitate to discuss with your child the life of Alexandra David-Néel, (first Westerner to enter Lhassa), of Jeanne Barret (explorer and botanist who described thousands of plants in the world), or of Olympus de Gouges (French woman of letters and politician). Ditto for footballers, handball players, shot puters… The idea: we are inspired by the exploits of women to give our daughters heart-breaking idols!

That’s too unfair !

When something breaks our feet in the news (the lack of equal pay between men and women), saying it out loud in front of his daughter allows him to understand that we do not accept what we consider like an injustice.

Chic! A magazine that speaks directly to girls

Here is a magazine “engaged” for little girls from 7 to 12 years old… which gives them self-confidence! Tchika is the first French empowerment magazine (which gives power) to little girls and talks to them about science, ecology, psychology …

Be dressed comfortably

Clothing, especially for the little ones, from 8 months to 3, 4 years old, is decisive in being able to move easily and therefore gain confidence in oneself, in one’s body. It’s not easy at 13 months to climb an obstacle with a dress that gets caught in the knees! It’s not easy to race with slippery ballet flats either. For little girls, we opt for warm clothes, which are resistant to rain, mud, and easy to wash. Ex: rain-resistant suits from Caretec, Lego, etc… to find here!

Give voice

The tools show that at school or nursery, little boys are more often invited to speak, and that they cut off girls. The reverse is not true. However, there is a good chance that the same phenomenon will be observed in siblings. This gives girls the impression that their word is less important than boys and above all, it will lead to a very common practice among men: “manterrupting” (the fact of systematically cutting off a woman in a debate. , a TV show, in a meeting, at home, etc.). An example of good practice? In the Bourdarias nursery in Saint-Ouen (93), early childhood professionals are trained to take care that little girls are not interrupted, and that they can speak regularly.

The idea? At the table, in the car or on the way to school, parents must ensure that all their children have an equal voice, without interruption.

Train, lose, start over

« Girls are weaker than boys! "" Boys play better football than girls! “. These stereotypes die hard. According to Bénédicte Fiquet, this should not be seen as inevitable, but girls should be encouraged to train. Passing football, skateboarding, scoring a basket in basketball, being strong in climbing or arm wrestling, it requires training to perfect your technique and progress. So, whether we are the mom or the dad, we train, we show, we explain and we support so that our little girl succeeds in doing the maximum of things!

Workshops to develop self-confidence

For Parisian parents, two must-see events in January: the workshop for parents “Raising super-heroine” by Gloria and a special workshop for little girls developed by Yoopies “Graines d’Entrepreneuses”, to get ideas for setting up your own box!

Be muddled and creative

Little girls suffer from the demands of adults related to certain stereotypes that stick to their skin, in particular that of having to be “applied”. However, it is important in life to learn to take risks, to experiment, even if it means making mistakes. It is a lifelong learning experience. It is more important to dare to do something even badly, rather than being applied to perfecting something that one already does well. Indeed, taking risks as a child will make it easier in adulthood to accept a promotion or change jobs, for example …

Revisited games

“The Moon Project” aims to show children – girls and boys – that anything is possible. In this spirit, the Topla company offers 5 card games redesigned in an egalitarian way and inspired by great female figures. Not bad to see bigger!

Give confidence to the child

Bénédicte Fiquet explains: little girls should not be discouraged even before they try to do something. On the contrary, we have to tell them that we have confidence in her. “If a little girl wants to experiment something and she doesn’t dare, we can say to her:” I know it’s not easy but I trust you you can do it. If you don’t dare today, maybe you want to try again tomorrow? »

Occupy the land

Very often, the gender balance at school is just a facade. In the playgrounds, the football field, drawn on the ground, is intended for boys. The girls are relegated to the sides of the field (see the observation in Bordeaux.

What to do about this? “For this kind of situation, don’t hesitate to tell little girls that it’s not normal,” explains Bénédicte Fiquet. “If boys don’t want to give way to them, adults need to tell girls they can speak out about unfair or sexist situations. It will strengthen their self-confidence if they understand that they can act on this type of situation ”. Thus, in some schools, the teaching teams have introduced “recreation without football”. Little girls and boys are given all kinds of mixed games (hoops, stilts, etc.) which encourage them to vary the activities. This makes it possible to break the hegemony of little boys in the playground and to recreate diversity.