"Edola iwe m!": 5 nzọụkwụ ka a udo mkparịta ụka na a nwa

• «Don’t yell! If you scream, I’ll leave you here»
• “Gịnị mere i ji guzo dị ka onye nzuzu! Ọ na-ege nnụnụ ntị… Ngwa ngwa, onye ọ sịrị!
• «Shut up! Sit silently when grown-ups are talking»
• "Lee nwanne gị nwaanyị, ọ na-akpa àgwà ọma, ọ bụghị ka gị!"

Anyị na-anụkarị okwu ndị a n'okporo ámá, na ụlọ ahịa, na cafe, dị ka ọtụtụ ndị nne na nna na-ewere ha dị ka akụkụ nkịtị nke usoro mmụta. Ee, na mgbe ụfọdụ anyị onwe anyị adịghị ejide onwe anyị, na-eti mkpu ma na-akpasu ụmụ anyị iwe. Ma anyị abụghị ndị ọjọọ! Anyị hụrụ ha n’anya nke ukwuu. Nke ahụ ọ́ bụghị isi ihe?

Gịnị mere anyị ji agbaji

Enwere ọtụtụ nkọwa maka omume a:

• Ndị obodo Soviet-Soviet bụ akụkụ nke ụta maka omume anyị, nke a na-amata site na iro megide ụmụaka "adịghị mma". Anyị na-agbalị ime mgbanwe ka ụwa gbara anyị gburugburu na izute ya na-atụ anya, Ya mere, na-agbalị ka anya ezigbo, anyị pounce na nwa anyị. Ọ ka mma ka gị na nwanne nna onye ọzọ na-akpakọrịta na-ele anyị anya.
• Ụfọdụ n'ime anyị nwere ike ịbụ ndị nne na nna kacha mma, sitekwa n'inertia anyị na-emeso ụmụ anyị otú ahụ e si mesoo anyị. Dị ka, n'ụzọ ụfọdụ anyị lanarịrị wee tolite dị ka ndị nkịtị!
• N'azụ mkpu mkparị na okwu mkparị, ike ọgwụgwụ, obi nkoropụ na enweghị ike nke nne na nna zuru oke na-ezokarị ezo. Ònye maara kpọmkwem ihe merenụ na ugboro ole ka obere onye isi ike nke nta na-eji nwayọọ mee ka ọ na-akpa àgwà ọma? N'agbanyeghị nke ahụ, njakịrị ụmụaka na ihe ọchị bụ ule siri ike nke ike.

Otú omume anyị si emetụta nwa ahụ

Many people think that there is nothing wrong with shouting and rude words. Just think, my mother screamed in her hearts — in an hour she will caress or buy ice cream, and everything will pass. But in fact, what we are doing is psychological abuse of a child.

Ịkpọ nwatakịrị iti mkpu zuru ezu ime ka ụjọ jide ya, onye ọkà n'akparamàgwà mmadụ Laura Markham na-adọ aka ná ntị, onye edemede nke Parenting Without Whining, Punishment and Screaming.

"Mgbe nne ma ọ bụ nna na-eti nwa ọhụrụ mkpu, cortex prefrontal ha na-emepebeghị emepe na-ezipụ mgbaàmà dị ize ndụ. Ahụ na-agbanye nzaghachi ọgụ ma ọ bụ ụgbọ elu. Ọ nwere ike ịkụ gị ihe, gbapụ ma ọ bụ daa n'ụra. Ọ bụrụ na a na-emeghachi nke a ugboro ugboro, a na-emesi omume ahụ ike. Nwatakịrị ahụ na-amụta na ndị nọ ya nso na-eyi ya egwu, ma emesịa na-eme ihe ike, enweghị ntụkwasị obi ma ọ bụ enweghị enyemaka.

Ị ji n'aka na ị chọrọ nke a? N'anya ụmụaka, anyị bụ ndị toro eto nwere ike na-enye ha ihe niile dị ha mkpa: nri, ebe obibi, nchebe, nlebara anya, nlekọta. Obi iru ala na-akụda mgbe ọ bụla ndị ha na-adabere kpam kpam were iti mkpu ma ọ bụ egwu egwu na-amaja ha. Ọbụlagodi ịkpọtụ flops na cuffs…

Even when we angrily throw something like “How tired of you!”, We hurt the child badly. Stronger than we can imagine. Because he perceives this phrase differently: «I don’t need you, I don’t love you.» But every person, even a very small one, needs love.

Mgbe ịkwa ákwá bụ naanị mkpebi ziri ezi?

Ọ bụ ezie na n'ọtụtụ ọnọdụ iweliri olu gị adịghị anabata, mgbe ụfọdụ ọ dị mkpa. Dị ka ihe atụ, ọ bụrụ na ụmụaka na-eti ibe ha ihe ma ọ bụ na ha nọ n'ihe ize ndụ n'ezie. Mkpọ ahụ ga-awụ ha akpata oyi n’ahụ́, ma ọ ga-emekwa ka ha mara ihe ha chere. Isi ihe bụ ịgbanwe ụda ozugbo. Tie mkpu ịdọ aka ná ntị, kwuo okwu ịkọwa.

Otu esi azụ ụmụaka na gburugburu ebe obibi

Of course, no matter how we raise our children, they will always have something to tell the psychologist. But we can make sure that children know how to “keep boundaries”, respect themselves and others — if we ourselves treat them with respect.

Iji mee nke a, gbalịa soro usoro ole na ole dị mfe:

1. Were ezumike

Ọ bụrụ na ọ dị gị ka ị na-efunahụ njikwa ma na-achọ ijide, kwụsị. Bugharịa nzọụkwụ ole na ole n'ebe nwata nọ wee nwee ume miri emi. Nke a ga-enyere gị aka iwetuo obi wee gosi nwa gị ka ọ ga-esi emeri mmetụta siri ike.

2. Kwuo banyere mmetụta uche gị

Iwe bụ otu mmetụta ebumpụta ụwa dị ka ọṅụ, ihe ijuanya, mwute, iwe, iwe. Site n'ịghọta na ịnakwere mmetụta uche anyị, anyị na-akụziri ụmụaka ka ha ghọta na ịnakwere onwe ha. Kwuo banyere mmetụta gị ma gbaa nwa gị ume ime otu ihe ahụ. Nke a ga-enyere ya aka ịzụlite àgwà nkwanye ùgwù n'ebe onwe ya na ndị ọzọ nọ, na n'ozuzu ọ ga-aba uru na ndụ.

3. Kwụsị Àgwà Ọjọọ Jiri nwayọọ ma kwụsie ike

Yes, children sometimes behave disgustingly. This is part of growing up. Talk to them strictly so that they understand that it is impossible to do this, but do not humiliate their dignity. Leaning down, squatting down, looking into the eyes — all this works much better than scolding from the height of your height.

4. Kweta, atụla egwu

Dị ka Barbara Coloroso si dee na Children Deserve It!, iyi egwu na ntaramahụhụ na-ebute iwe, iwe na esemokwu, na-anapụ ụmụaka obi ike. Ma ọ bụrụ na ha ahụ ihe ga-esi na otu omume pụta na-eso ịdọ aka ná ntị n'eziokwu, ha na-amụta ime nhọrọ ka mma. Dịka ọmụmaatụ, ọ bụrụ na ị buru ụzọ kọwaa na ha na-egwu ụgbọ ala, ọ bụghị ọgụ, naanị mgbe ahụ ka ị ga-ewere ihe egwuregwu ụmụaka.

5. Jiri ọchị

N'ụzọ dị ịtụnanya, ọchị bụ ụzọ kachasị dị irè ma dị mfe karịa iti mkpu na iyi egwu. Laura Markham na-echeta, sị: “Mgbe ndị nne na nna na-emeghachi omume n'ịchị ọchị, ha adịghị ahapụ ikike ha ma ọlị, kama, n'ụzọ megidere nke ahụ, na-ewusi ntụkwasị obi nwa ha ike. A sị ka e kwuwe, ịchị ọchị na-atọ ụtọ karịa ịtụ egwu egwu.

Ọ dịghị mkpa ma ụmụntakịrị ime ihe na-atọ ụtọ ma rịọ ha nrubeisi na-enweghị mgbagha. N'ikpeazụ, anyị niile bụ mmadụ. Ma anyị bụ ndị toro eto, nke pụtara na ọ bụ anyị na-ahụ maka àgwà ọdịnihu.