Ịbụ nne na Germany: Feli gbara akaebe

From the birth of my daughter, I understood that the way in which young mothers are viewed is very different between Germany and France. “Oh thank you very much! I said, astonished, to my husband’s grandmother in the maternity ward. I had just unwrapped my birth gift and discovered with amazement a magnificent set of lingerie. The granny gave me at that moment a subtle: “You must not forget your couple…”

The least that can be said is that this initiative would seem far-fetched in Germany, where young women who have recently given birth then become more mothers than women. It is even natural to stop for two years to raise children. If we don’t, we are quickly cataloged as an unworthy mother. My mother, the first, keeps telling me that we give birth to babies to see them grow. She has never worked. But you should know that the German system encourages women to stay at home thanks, in particular, to government aid. In addition, leaving your baby in a nanny or in the nursery is not very common. As the hours of care do not go beyond 13 p.m., mothers who return to work can only work part-time. Kindergarten (nurseries) are, in any case, only accessible from 3 years old.

“Give him paracetamol!” »I have the impression to hear this sentence on repeat here as soon as my kids sniffle or get a little feverish. This surprises me a lot because the approach to medicine in Germany is very natural. First of all, we wait. The body defends itself and we let it. Medication is the last resort. The homemade trend, the abandonment of industrialized products is more and more common: no small jars, organic purees, washable diapers … In the same vein, women are turning away from the epidural in order to fully experience their childbirth. Breastfeeding is also essential. We are told that it is hard, but that we must hang on at all costs. Today, from my expat point of view, I tell myself that the Germans are under incredible pressure. I was able without feeling guilty, decided to stop breastfeeding after two months because my breasts hurt, it was not going well and it was no longer a pleasure for my children or for me.

In Germany, eating is not playing. Being at the table, sitting down well, is important to us. No baby fiddling with a toy while we put the spoon in his mouth without realizing it. However, the country is considering setting up dedicated areas for children in restaurants so that they can go and have fun. But not at the table! Food diversification begins in the 7th month with cereals. In the evening more particularly, we give cereal porridge mixed with cow’s milk and water, all without sugar. Once the child turns solid, we stop the bottle. Suddenly, 2nd or 3rd age milks do not exist.

Sometimes in France I see parents scolding their children in the street, in the park, something that would not be seen in Germany. We reprimand the little ones once they get home, never in public. We used to spank or slap our hands some time ago, but not anymore. Today, the punishment is the ban on television, or they are told to go to their room!

Living in France makes me see things differently, without telling me that one way is better than another. For example, I chose to return to work when my children were 6 months old. In fact, I sometimes find the two visions excessive: my French friends think of resuming their activity and “freedom” as quickly as possible, when those in Germany are too forgotten.