Gịnị na-ebutere anyị ụzọ? Azịza nke ajụjụ a na-eme ka uche anyị dị mfe, na-eme ka usoro ihe omume dị mfe, na-azọpụtakwa oge na ume. Ọ na-enye anyị ohere ime ihe baara anyị uru n’ezie.
Tatyana dị afọ iri atọ na asatọ. O nwere di, ụmụ abụọ na usoro doro anya site na elekere mkpu ụtụtụ ruo na nkuzi mgbede. “Enweghị m ihe m ga-eme mkpesa banyere ya,” ka ọ na-eche, “ma m na-enwekarị ike ọgwụgwụ, mgbakasị ahụ na n'ụzọ ụfọdụ ọ na-esiri m ike. Ọ dị ka ihe dị mkpa ọ̀ dị, ma aghọtaghị m ihe ọ bụ.”
Many men and women live against their will on autopilot, set up and programmed for them by others. Sometimes it’s because they said «no» to themselves, but more often than not it’s because they didn’t dare to say «yes».
Our personal life is no exception: over time, what we entered into a relationship for is overwritten by everyday life — everyday tasks and minor conflicts, so we are faced with the need to change something in relations with our loved ones. If we do not do this and continue to move “on the thumb”, then we lose strength and interest in life. Over time, this condition can turn into depression.
Oge ịbụ onye na-amu amu
“Clients with a similar problem come to me more and more often,” says medical psychologist Sergey Malyukov. — And then, for starters, I propose to decide: what really pleases you? Then find out how this feeling appears, why at this moment. Maybe this is the realization of some of your quality or trait. And they just can be the thread that will return the taste of life. It would be nice to remember yourself in those periods when everything was in order, and to understand what activities, what relationships occupied most of my life. Ask yourself why it was important.»
Ị nwere ike ịga n'ụzọ dị iche: kewapụ ihe omume na mmekọrịta ndị na-ebute ịda mbà n'obi, ike ọgwụgwụ, enweghị afọ ojuju, ma gbalịa chọpụta ihe na-ezighị ezi na ha. Ma ụzọ a, dị ka ọkà n'akparamàgwà mmadụ si kwuo, siri ike karị.
Tatyana tụgharịrị gaa na onye ọkà n'akparamàgwà mmadụ, ọ kpọkwara ya ka o cheta ihe ọ hụrụ n'anya n'oge ọ bụ nwata. "Na mbụ, ọ dịghị ihe batara m n'obi, ma emesịa aghọtara m: Agara m ụlọ ihe nkiri ihe osise! Ọ na-amasị m ịbịaru, ma ọ dịghị oge zuru oke, m hapụrụ ọrụ a ma chefuo ya kpamkpam. Mgbe mkparịta ụka ahụ gasịrị, o kpebiri ịmaliteghachi ya. N'ịbụ onye chọtara oge maka ụlọ akwụkwọ nkà maka ndị okenye, Tatyana na-eju anya ịghọta na n'oge a nile ọ na-enweghị ike ịmepụta ihe.
Mgbe anyị mara iwu na ụkpụrụ nke ọma wee rụọ ọrụ na autopilot, anyị na-efunahụ echiche nke ihe ọhụrụ, ihe ijuanya, na obi ụtọ.
Mgbe ụfọdụ, anyị na-eleghara mkpa anyị anya ruo ọtụtụ afọ. Ihe omume ntụrụndụ mgbe ụfọdụ na-adị ka ihe na-abaghị uru ma e jiri ya tụnyere ọrụ ma ọ bụ ibu ọrụ ezinụlọ. E nwekwara ihe ndị ọzọ mere anyị ji ahapụ ihe omume ndị dịbu anyị mkpa.
“They cease to please when they become a routine and the original idea is blurred, for the sake of which we started doing this at all,” explains Sergey Malyukov. — If we talk about a hobby or work, then this can be when we are pressured by too many ideas about how to do it right. For example, ideas that you need to achieve certain success by a certain date, use specific techniques, compare yourself with others. Such «external» installations over time obscure the essence of our business.
Ọkachamara dị ukwuu nwekwara ike ibute nsonaazụ a: mgbe anyị maara iwu na ụkpụrụ nke ọma ma mee ihe na autopilot, anyị na-efunahụ echiche nke ọhụụ, ihe ịtụnanya na obi ụtọ. Ebee ka mmasị na ọṅụ si abịa? Ụzọ mgbapụ bụ ịmụta ihe ọhụrụ, gbalịa ime ihe dị iche ma ọ bụ n'ụzọ dị iche. Cheta ihe ịbụ onye na-amu amu pụtara. Kwekwa ka onwe gị mejọọ ọzọ.
Ọ bụghị ihe niile ka a na-achịkwa
"Amaghị m ihe m chọrọ, echeghị m na ọ dị m mma" … Ọnọdụ dị otú ahụ nwere ike ịpụta n'ihi ike ọgwụgwụ siri ike, ike ọgwụgwụ. Mgbe ahụ, anyị ga-achọ izu ike zuru oke. Ma mgbe ụfọdụ, amaghị ihe ndị ị na-ebute ụzọ bụ n'ezie ịjụ, nke na-akpata egwu amaghị ama nke ọdịda. Mgbọrọgwụ ya na-alaghachi na nwata, mgbe ndị nne na nna siri ike chọrọ ngwọta ngwa ngwa maka ọrụ ndị e debere maka ise kachasị elu.
Naanị ụdị ngagharị iwe nwere ike ime megide omume ndị nne na nna na-adịghị agbanwe agbanwe bụ mkpebi ịghara ikpebi na ịghara ịhọrọ. Tụkwasị na nke ahụ, site n'ịjụ imesi ike, anyị na-anọgide na-eche echiche nke ime ihe ike na ịchịkwa ọnọdụ ahụ. Ọ bụrụ na anyị ahọrọghị, mgbe ahụ anyị agaghị enweta mmeri.
Anyị aghaghị ịghọta na anyị nwere ikike ime mmehie na ịbụ ndị na-ezughị okè. Mgbe ahụ ọdịda agaghịzi abụ ihe na-atụ egwu ọdịda.
But such unawareness is associated with being stuck in the complex of the eternal youth (puer aeternus) and is fraught with a stop on the path of personal development. As Jung wrote, if we are not aware of the inner content of our psyche, it begins to influence us from the outside and becomes our destiny. In other words, life will again and again “toss” us with repetitive situations that require the ability to choose — until we take responsibility for it.
Ka nke a mee, anyị aghaghị ịghọta na anyị bụ ndị na-ezighị ezi na ndị na-ezughị okè. Mgbe ahụ ọdịda ga-akwụsị ịbụ ihe ịrịba ama na-atụ egwu nke ọdịda ga-abụ naanị akụkụ nke mmegharị ahụ n'akụkụ ụzọ a na-ahọrọ maka anyị ọ bụghị site na ọha mmadụ, ọ bụghị site n'oge a, na ọbụnadị ndị dị nso, ma naanị anyị onwe anyị.
"Anyị nwere ike ikpebi ihe dị anyị ezigbo mkpa site n'ịchọpụta ego ole omume etinyere na nke a ma ọ bụ ọrụ ahụ na-enye ume na akụrụngwa," ka ọkà n'akparamàgwà mmadụ Elena Arie na-ekwu. "Ma nke ikpeazụ, n'aka nke ya, na-enye gị ohere ịhazi nchekasị, ihere, obi amamikpe na mmetụta ndị ọzọ na-egbochi itinye uche na iru ihe mgbaru ọsọ." N'ịmara ihe dị anyị mkpa, anyị ga-aghọta ihe ike anyị bụ.